“ I can’t stand my life—I hate it! I’m putting it all out on the table, all the bitterness of my life—I’m holding back nothing.”
Job prayed: “Here’s what I want to say: Don’t, God, bring in a verdict of guilty without letting me know the charges you’re bringing. (Job 10:1,2 The Message)
Despair
Job experienced despair, but we do not have to share it. Job could see and understand that God was sending troubles to him. But he could not figure out why. And Job thought, at this point in the book, that he must understand his guilt to receive forgiveness from God.
But Job was lacking some information. First, while Job did not, we know what we are guilty of. We are guilty of everything. Paul writes that when we break one commandment we break them all. If you are still squirming to get out of that accusation, you might not understand how broad and rich and full the gospel is! Job was unsure of the depth of his sin, and focused on his daily actions, finding little fault. We, in the Spirit, can plumb the dark depths of our selfishness, motivations, hatreds, prejudices, and fears… and call them what they are.
And when we call them what they are, we can place them at the foot of the glorious forgiveness-purchasing cross of Christ, and at the empty tomb of that same Christ.
Second, Job did not understand that sin-knowledge is not a prerequisite to grace. We are made new in Christ before we are able to understand our sin, list our sin, accept our sin. The transforming power of the gospel allows us knowledge… it does not precede it. Once the spark is lit, we learn to acknowledge and hate our sin. Without that spark, we, like Job, know nothing.
Those two things keep us from Job’s despair. God’s grace in Jesus Christ is bigger than our individual sins, and bigger than our ignorance.
We can not keep despair away. But Christ can.