You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord. (Leviticus 19:18 ESV)
Grudges and Love
This verse hurts. Read it again.
When I am nurturing a grudge, a part of me KNOWS I am not loving. I am choosing to place myself above the grudgee, place my needs above the grudgee’s, place my position above the grudgee’s, place my hopes above the grudgee’s, place my understanding above the grudgee’s, place my everything above the grudgee’s.
I talk myself out of the guilt, unrighteousness, and sin of my grudge with elaborate constructions of mental and emotional gymnastics. I set up comparisons, so I do not look as bad as the grudgee. I rationalize, excuse, and minimalize my grudge. I bury my grudge deeply, only taking it out and nursing it occasionally.
I defend myself because I have never acted on my grudge. I defend myself because the grudgee also is usually grudging against me. I defend myself by noting that “thou shalt not grudge” is not one of the ten commandments.
But God’s Word does not cut me any slack here. He clearly says, ‘no’ to my grudge.
He delightfully gives me a contrasting choice, in fact. He says that the opposite of grudge is love.
Love is harder than grudging. But love is still better.
Love (putting the beloved first) does away with the need, cause, and poison of the grudge.
Love (changing the grudgee to a lovee) fixes broken relationships, replaces bad memories, and forms solid ground for the future.
Love (copying the Lord) brings me AND my grudgee closer to Jesus, makes us more like Jesus, and simply and obviously follows Jesus.
Grudge no more… choose love.
Take the love God grants us.