Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. (Heb. 11:1 ESV)
I am tired of faith.
Faith is not ‘extreme confidence.’ Faith is not ‘what we really, really, really, really know.’
Faith is what God gives us when we do NOT know.
Faith is what we choose, when our circumstances and senses give us fits of terror.
Faith is the result of the unpleasant realization that though we are Promised much, sometimes the fulfillment of those Promises seems distant.
Faith looks like foolish naivete. Faith looks like simplicity. Faith looks like giving up. Faith looks like foolishness to those without it.
And when I have to choose faith because my world doesn’t make sense, it is a painful relief. When I am given faith because my knowledge and experience have let me down, it is a peaceful embarrassment. When like my namesake, I am ‘Doubting’ on my way to assurance, and Jesus lets my fingers feel the hole in His side, my knees become my resting place… in grateful wonder.
But faith is not what I need. It is not ever really enough. I need what our faith is IN. I need Him. I need Jesus.
I am glad that God gives us faith. We need it. But when we don’t need it anymore: That will be grand!
Oh Lord, haste the day when our faith shall be sight.